Meaning

I'm a bit of a history nut, especially WWII history. I've been watching my daddy's documentaries lately and got into the Band of Brothers mini series. The program in itself is amazing, but as I watch the stories and events that happened in the lives of those men it makes me realize just how much has changed in the world over the years. The brotherhood, the respect, the honor given to great acts and great men. It was such a different time, a very difficult time, yes, but the integrity of the people back then humbles me. The pride that I feel in my heart when I see a war veteran or a person in uniform was very open and spoken back then. It was assumed and taught. That kind of respect is very rare these days and it makes me sick! I've always been extremely patriotic. My daddy is an ex Navy man and I'm so incredibly proud of that part of our family's history. I love the tattoo on his right forearm that bears witness to his love and respect for his country and the freedom we hold dear.

Watching Band of Brothers and seeing the hurt they went through, the relationships made and lost in battle. Trusting someone enough to put your life in their hands and fight beside them and for them. The fear in some of the men; boys even, the looks in their eyes as they watch their fellow soldiers' lives being taken wondering when their time was going to come. Feeling the emotion of the men who took some of the cities that still inhabited families and homes and seeing their reaction and instant change of expression when discovering a small child in the middle of their personal hell. Experiencing the applause, the cheers, the welcoming and celebration when they took a city back from the enemies, but knowing it wasn't long and they'd be back in battle amongst a rain of bullets and bombs, sacrificing their lives yet again for people they've never even met or seen, but carrying on because they know it's the right thing to do. Hearing the WWII vets at the beginning of the episodes talk about how they didn't feel like it was a duty but an honor to go to war and fight for their country.

I look around me sometimes and realize that I seriously have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have it so amazingly great in life. And at the same time I have those very men to thank for that. I try my best not to forget about where I came from. My family is huge on history and family history and keeping the family members, who have passed on, alive in our minds. I love talking to my daddy about our family past and the men who served in wars. The things he saw when the men started coming home from WWII, the pinned up shirt sleeves or pant legs or a patch over their eyes. How lucky I am to have my family members home safe and sound, in good health.

Watching war documentaries makes me take a look at what's really important in my life. The things I take for granted, things that I just assume will always be there, things I wait for and want. They all seem so petty after living a short time in the life of someone who encountered WWII and fought for their lives just as much as others'. It makes me realize how important the relationships in my life are and how unimportant the material things are. People mean so much to me. There aren't many who hold those special places in my heart but when you do you're a vital part of my life and you'll never want for someone to love you more. The people in my life are amazing individuals, I don't know where I'd be without them. Each one has contributed so much to who I am, I could ask for no greater gift. I want for nothing, I have everything I need in my family and the people closest to me. I'm the happiest girl you could find. I'm not perfect and I have struggles and hard times just like everyone else, but my low points are nothing compared to the level of happiness I possess.

I'm so thankful for my heritage and my past. I'm thankful for the people that have meant the world to me, the people I've had the privilege to love, those I've been allowed to give my love to. I'm thankful for the life I've been given, the second chances, the third chances, the fourth etc. I'm thankful for my faith and the foundation my parents gave me to build on. I believe my family to be the greatest ever created. There are a couple that come seriously close though. But I wouldn't trade my crazy family for anything in the world. They're my crazy family and that means everything! Sometimes I feel like life is so short, that just when everyone gets old enough to really feel like you've gotten to know them and can start learning from them, they slip away from you. I know it's all a part of the plan, but sometimes I just don't understand. I crave to learn from some people sometimes, it hurts that I missed my chance. I feel robbed of the time that I would've gotten to spend talking to them, picking their brain, learning of their amazing wisdom.

I love asking my daddy questions. He knows so much about everything, I can ask him something about any subject and he'd have an answer for me. My daddy is truly amazing!!! I love every relationship in my life and the people who are closest to my heart, it's such an honor to love you and to care about you. I would do anything for you!

His Heirloom

I wrote this with a relationship in mind, but it could be taken a couple different ways. There's no wrong way to read it.

A vessel destroyed, handled by one not worthy. The ruins lay waiting for a gentle hand to pick up the pieces. Waiting for one, just one, to look past the shards and see the Ivory magnificence it's form once knew. The remains of it's contents exposed for all to partake. Raw are the metaphoric feelings, laying there, grasping, slowly spreading thin. The sleek edges, that could once wound, are now beginning to dull and fade with time. With every look of the by standers, every breath of the passers by, they begin to weaken. Never again will this collection of once priceless beauty be flawlessly restored. Never again will the captivating aroma it once held be at it's fullest capacity. It's just a broken vessel!
The hands, so warm and strong, yet gentle and sure. Smoothing away the neglect and ignorance from the shattered pieces. Damming the flow of the lovely substance seeping through the cracks of what was once it's shelter. Shifting, moving, placing, replacing, caressing, molding, fitting; all the time, so patiently they worked. What were these beautiful hands trying to accomplish? These incomplete remains were never again going to be the same glorious piece of art that all once admired. The hands worked tirelessly, a vision in mind, they could see it, though no one else even came close. They wanted this vision!
The hands pulled back, full of dust, debris, cuts and blood stained to reveal, in their opinion, the most perfect, radiant vessel ever seen. Every piece in it's place, not a flaw to be found. Though the contents are nearly gone now, the potter sees it as an opportunity to replace it with an even deeper, more consuming substance that has meaning to him. This gorgeous piece will never experience a deeper, more passionate love than with the one who took the time to remold it into what he saw that it could become.
The vessel will always be a priceless heirloom in the hands of this potter.

Draft #1 for Writing Course

A man kneeling, preening his garden. Dark brown hair ruffling in the warm summer breeze. He's home from a long day's work. Still in his blue work uniform, tired from a lifetime of jobs not conducive to his greatness. Worn, rugged hands so gently care for the new babes of his Eden.

As I view this man, the story of his life unfolds in the characteristics of his being; I see the school boy in the twinkle of his brown eyes, his naval endeavors in the tattoo engraved on his right forearm. I see the chapters of marriage in his gold, misshapen wedding band, proudly shinning in the August sun. The many sleepless nights of praying for God to protect and use his children in the permanent furrow of his brow. I see the prominent laugh lines etched by the love of his grandchildren, and the decades of laboring to provide the best for the ones he loves is displayed as medals of honor about his person. I see a happy and fulfilled and truly loved man. He thinks not of the sacrifices but of the radiant joy on the faces he's lived for. This man will forever be surrounded by the fruits of his labor.

He turns, his gentle voice permeating the air, "Hey!" His wife of 41 years had been taking in the sight of the love of her life doing what he loves. Her face alight with a smile, tells him, "I love you," and walks back inside. Her mind flooding with memories, she sits in her favorite chair and allows the past to wash over her.

They're younger now, hands, face, eyes not as tired and worn. The house filled with children's contagious laughter. Her husband appears, making an attempt to round up the youngest and most beautiful, a girl. She runs to give him a hug and says her good night's, he replies, " I love you too, you're the greatest." She smiles and retaliates, "No, you're the greatest!" They debate for what seems like an hour, then mom dramatically says, "Go to bed!!" The father and daughter share a sly grin and kiss each other good night.

Another memory surfaces, newly married, circumstances were difficult here. Funds were scarce, struggling to make ends meet, she worried about her partner and life. His confident, loving voice always reassured her, "We're going to be OK."

This man is wise, honorable and devoted to his family and his God. He may not be the picture of perfection, but he's made the individuals who matter extremely proud. The person of whom I speak is Teddy Franklin McCollam, 67, my incredible father and friend. Everything from his creased brow to his tired, well trodden feet create a story that is his life. Though others may not recognize, my father is one of greatness. He has prayed through the tough times and rejoiced in the good. My father is a content and satisfied man; my father is my hero!

Abortion

Well, let's see! Another election and another chance to vote pro-life. Who are you? Sometimes I wonder if people vote pro-choice just because it's the "cool" thing to do. If people would just sit down and think about their own life and think, "what if my parents would've been pro-choice and decided they didn't want me?," how would they view abortion then? Although, I strongly believe that some people's parents should've been pro-choice. :D But honestly, you'd think that after a mother gives birth to her child and holds that baby in her arms, she'd think differently about it. I don't get it! I understand capital punishment, but a baby who has NEVER done anything to anyone, who doesn't have a choice...and that's another thing, the mother has a choice but the baby doesn't??? Is that disturbing to anyone else??? How about the Dr who performs the abortion..."you've never done anything wrong to me but I'm going to exercise my freedom of choice and inject you with something lethal, but the family can't prosecute me for it." HELLO IDIOTS!!!!! Wake up and stop being selfish, seriously. Let's save the glow worms and the fairies, but hey the world is being over populated by human beings so let's snuff the unborn. You're all ignorant pigs who should be snuffed yourselves! If anyone reads this and is offended...please let me know, not so I can apologize, but so that I can tell your mother she raised an IDIOT!!

My Friends

I don't have a lot of friends, but I have a few close friends. I love them all and wish them the best in life, whatever they may choose to do. I hate when they're down and I can't help them up. I try to cheer them but realize that their pain is farther down than I can reach. I tell them I love them but somehow seems not enough. I pray for them and know they'll be ok. I'm not too much of a worrier, but I try to empathize with people I love to try and relate to their hurt as best I can. I feel I fall far too short! They reach out to me for help, in a way, and all I have are words...there aren't enough words to help a hurting soul. Sometimes they need only talk it out and find they feel better, but at times their hurt is more than what mere comfort offers. To my friends who come to me when hurt, please know that I hurt for you. I may not hurt to the extent as you do, but I hurt for you. I pray for you and with you. I love you! I may not always say everything you need, but I pray to God to give you the strength you need to carry on. Sometimes you need to let the rain of emotion wash over you so you can see the rainbow at the end of the storm. It's not easy to hear that, but I know you can get through it. I thank you for your friendship and for confiding in me. That means the world to me!

Fall

Fall is here, finally! I love fall so much, it's my favorite time of year besides Christmas. I love everything about it really. The cloudy sky, the rain, the changing of the leaves' colors, the shorter days, the smell. I don't really think of the plants dieing because they come back in the spring, so I just enjoy watching the changes they go through during fall. I love the chill in the air, the feeling of always wanting to curl up with a book, wrapped up in a blanket, drinking hot chocolate with the lights off, letting the crisp cloudy day engulf the room. Fall makes me want to take long walks and just listen to the sounds around me and feel the breeze on my face and hear the trees blowing. I even like the fall birds that stick around when the others fly south, they are fall birds to me. Just another gift that only fall possesses. I love seeing the trees and mountains up against a dark threatening sky. And always saying to the threatening sky, bring it on, please tempt me with rain. :0) I love smelling the beginning of rain, knowing it's at the cusp of unleashing a beautiful downfall. Call me crazy, but I love fall! It fills me with energy and joy that no other season does. I know most people like warm, sunny days, but give me chilly, cloudy, rainy days and I'll be completely content. I think the biggest reason I love fall so much is the memories it brings along with it. With fall comes the memories of playing football with my brothers, playing in the rain or picking up leaves with my sister, baking fall goodies with mommy or being scared of the thunderstorm on daddy's lap. Although I don't really LIVE in the past, my memories of life make up a big part of who I am. Without my memories, I'd be lost! I don't dwell on them too often, just when I get that time to be alone and remember the steps in my life that have brought me to where I am as an adult. I enjoy my time! But I love living in the present and future as well. I don't think I'll ever really grow up. I'm the baby of the family and although I have a job and bills to pay, I'll always be the baby and a child at heart. Fall reminds me of the kid in me, the kid that will always be there to remind me that I should be thankful for everything that I have in my life!

My Life

Sometimes I sit and think about the things I have in my life. I'm not rich by any means, but I have so much to be thankful for. My family, my job, my health, a roof over my head, food to eat and I love having my thoughts. I love being able to think about things and wonder. It may sound strange but I enjoy just thinking during the day, I love being able to take time by myself and talk to God like He's sitting beside me or across from me and let Him know my thoughts and wonderment. I'm not perfect in any shape or form, but I love the feeling I get when I've talked to God or told Him something I was thinking, even though He already knows my thoughts and dreams. I like going outside and looking around at all the beautiful things He's given to us to enjoy. Sometimes I realize that He likes to be complimented too so I look around and thank Him for something He's given me. I don't read my Bible like I should, but I love knowing It's there when I need it. Sometimes when I'm scared or depressed, I know that I can get immediate happiness if I just read my Bible and spend some time alone with God. When everything around me seems distraught and unsteady, I know I can find control and balance with God. I live in CA and it doesn't rain until the fall and winter, but last night it rained for the first time and I just went out on our patio and looked around at the beautiful glistening street and roof tops and was completely thrilled and happy with just standing there looking around. I love the breeze in the Fall. I love feeling the cool air on my face and hearing nothing but the breezes blowing. It's so peaceful and relaxing! Sometimes, because I don't really like to talk about my inner feelings, I get so bottled up that I just have to sit down and cry. And it's not a bad cry, it feels good to get the feelings out. I love my life and everyone in it! I really have nothing to complain about in life. Things could be so much worse than my worst moment that I've had in my entire being. I'm so thankful that I have what I have in my life. Every person in my life has taught me something I needed no matter how small or how big. I'm thankful that I've had people's examples, good or bad, to reference to when I needed an answer.