Monday, December 7, 2009

Meaning


I'm a bit of a history nut, especially WWII history. I've been watching my daddy's documentaries lately and got into the Band of Brothers mini series. The program in itself is amazing, but as I watch the stories and events that happened in the lives of those men it makes me realize just how much has changed in the world over the years. The brotherhood, the respect, the honor given to great acts and great men. It was such a different time, a very difficult time, yes, but the integrity of the people back then humbles me. The pride that I feel in my heart when I see a war veteran or a person in uniform was very open and spoken back then. It was assumed and taught. That kind of respect is very rare these days and it makes me sick! I've always been extremely patriotic. My daddy is an ex Navy man and I'm so incredibly proud of that part of our family's history. I love the tattoo on his right forearm that bears witness to his love and respect for his country and the freedom we hold dear.

Watching Band of Brothers and seeing the hurt they went through, the relationships made and lost in battle. Trusting someone enough to put your life in their hands and fight beside them and for them. The fear in some of the men; boys even, the looks in their eyes as they watch their fellow soldiers' lives being taken wondering when their time was going to come. Feeling the emotion of the men who took some of the cities that still inhabited families and homes and seeing their reaction and instant change of expression when discovering a small child in the middle of their personal hell. Experiencing the applause, the cheers, the welcoming and celebration when they took a city back from the enemies, but knowing it wasn't long and they'd be back in battle amongst a rain of bullets and bombs, sacrificing their lives yet again for people they've never even met or seen, but carrying on because they know it's the right thing to do. Hearing the WWII vets at the beginning of the episodes talk about how they didn't feel like it was a duty but an honor to go to war and fight for their country.

I look around me sometimes and realize that I seriously have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have it so amazingly great in life. And at the same time I have those very men to thank for that. I try my best not to forget about where I came from. My family is huge on history and family history and keeping the family members, who have passed on, alive in our minds. I love talking to my daddy about our family past and the men who served in wars. The things he saw when the men started coming home from WWII, the pinned up shirt sleeves or pant legs or a patch over their eyes. How lucky I am to have my family members home safe and sound, in good health.

Watching war documentaries makes me take a look at what's really important in my life. The things I take for granted, things that I just assume will always be there, things I wait for and want. They all seem so petty after living a short time in the life of someone who encountered WWII and fought for their lives just as much as others'. It makes me realize how important the relationships in my life are and how unimportant the material things are. People mean so much to me. There aren't many who hold those special places in my heart but when you do you're a vital part of my life and you'll never want for someone to love you more. The people in my life are amazing individuals, I don't know where I'd be without them. Each one has contributed so much to who I am, I could ask for no greater gift. I want for nothing, I have everything I need in my family and the people closest to me. I'm the happiest girl you could find. I'm not perfect and I have struggles and hard times just like everyone else, but my low points are nothing compared to the level of happiness I possess.

I'm so thankful for my heritage and my past. I'm thankful for the people that have meant the world to me, the people I've had the privilege to love, those I've been allowed to give my love to. I'm thankful for the life I've been given, the second chances, the third chances, the fourth etc. I'm thankful for my faith and the foundation my parents gave me to build on. I believe my family to be the greatest ever created. There are a couple that come seriously close though. But I wouldn't trade my crazy family for anything in the world. They're my crazy family and that means everything! Sometimes I feel like life is so short, that just when everyone gets old enough to really feel like you've gotten to know them and can start learning from them, they slip away from you. I know it's all a part of the plan, but sometimes I just don't understand. I crave to learn from some people sometimes, it hurts that I missed my chance. I feel robbed of the time that I would've gotten to spend talking to them, picking their brain, learning of their amazing wisdom.

I love asking my daddy questions. He knows so much about everything, I can ask him something about any subject and he'd have an answer for me. My daddy is truly amazing!!! I love every relationship in my life and the people who are closest to my heart, it's such an honor to love you and to care about you. I would do anything for you!

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